ANSWER:
When inviting co-workers to your wedding, you must do so with discernment. In the height of excitement about your upcoming wedding, you should be cognizant of the notion you may be sending (i.e. you do not want to give the impression that you’re inviting everyone from the office or department when in fact it maybe only a select few). To avoid this perception, I would suggest minimizing the office talk about your wedding.

For those co-workers that you plan to invite to your wedding you must also invite their spouse, fiancée, and live-in partner. Be sensitive to your single friends. From college age on, your single guests should be extended an “and guest” invitation. If you want people to have a good time at your wedding, they need to be comfortable. Nobody is going to be comfortable when the only person they know is you, and you are preoccupied.

Also, in lieu of hand delivering your invitations in the office, it is critical to send each invitation to their home address.

I lived in Tokyo for 3 years.  In those fabulous 3 years, my family and I immersed ourselves into the Japanese culture.  We frequented local festivals, traveled to site see and ate at local restaurants.  My mother and I taught English to elementary students and young adults, while my father frequented the local grocery stores to sample all the different foods.  

My experience in Japan has been one of the best timeframes in my life.  I found the Japanese people to be humble, polite, quite, respectful and friendly.  They fully embraced us into their culture and were so proud to help us learn their traditions and explore their great country. 

As I sit and watch the cable news shows and see the images of this horrific natural disaster I feel such profound sadness for the people who were once so kind hearted to my family and I.   It truly breaks my heart for the people of Japan.  

In rememberence of those who have lost their lives, their villegas, homes and livleyhood, we will be participating in a Nationwide Blogger Day of Silence, For Japan With Love.  This fundraising effort has been organized by Utterly Engaged and Ever Ours in conjunction with ShelterBox.  ShelterBox provides emergency shelter and lifesaving supplies for families around the world who are affected by disasters at the time when they need it the most. 

Today, my 6 year old daughter, Sofia Isabella, brought me a little plush Disney Princess bag filled with coins from her piggy bank.  She told me, “momma, it’s for the people in Japan.” I ask  you to please join us and keep the Japanese people in your hearts, thoughts and prayers!   To get involved and donate to relief efforts for the people of Japan, please visit  For Japan With Love or to the American Red Cross .   Thank you!
~Claudia 

For the Spring 2011 issue of Get Married Magazine, I was asked to provide their readers with helpful tips on how to master Thank You note writing.  Whether you are writing thank you notes for your engagement party, bridal shower or wedding gifts, these tips will leave your gift giver feeling jubilant and confident they selected the perfect gift for you!  

What are your top two tips for writing a note?
• Express your sincere appreciation for the gift.
• Mention how the gift will be used.

How do you write a good one?
• Greeting
• Expression of Thanks/appreciation for the gift in a complimentary fashion
• Mention how the gift will be used
• Personal conversation (“it was a pleasure to see you and uncle John at the Engagement party/ Bridal Shower/Wedding”)
• Plan to keep in touch or see the gift giver soon
• Re-thank the gift giver in closing
• Salutation

What are common pitfalls and how do you avoid them in notes?
The most common pitfall is allowing your Thank- you note obligation to pile up by avoiding writing the note in a timely manner. Write your thank-you notes the day you receive a gift. This will ensure a timely and more sincere note of appreciation. Remember to write in your own voice, to handwrite each note and that it’s ok to be brief.

After the wedding day, when should you have notes in the mail to guests thanking them for their gifts?
Thank you notes should be sent as soon after the wedding or special event as possible. Thank you notes received in a timely manner are more sincere as the gift is fresh in your memory or in hand at the time the note was written.

What other occasions through your engagement should you send thank you notes?
• For engagement gifts received
• For special assistance from a friend or family member during planning
• Thanking a host for any pre-wedding related party (engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party)
• Just because it makes people feel appreciated

Custom Designed Thank You Note designed by the talented Trisha Caal of Embellishments Custom Designed Invitations.
Get Married Magazine Cover courtesy of Get Married Magazine Online

A few weeks ago, I discussed on the Strive to Be Gracious Facebook Fan Page the importance of teaching and living by the power of positive behavior by sharing a story of my daughter’s experience at a day camp. 

After attending a day camp for several days, I became aware of  a little girl who had not been playing very nicely with Sofia Isabella or the other children in her class.  By the end of her camp experience, my 6yo was very proud of herself for teaching her classmates at camp good manners and how to be a good friend. 

My point is, she understands the value of positive behavior and is using it to better her own situations. We too can do the same thing every day if we are aware of our surroundings and how our behavior is effecting those around us.

In almost any situation,whether planning your wedding or through our daily interactions with others, we have the power to turn our own lemons into lemonade through the powers of our own positive behavior.

Strive to be Gracious my friends.

Our obsession with wireless devices began in 1983 with the US introduction of the first 1G network.   Today, the wireless industry has profoundly affected the way we live.  As of late 2009, there are approximately 4.6 billion cell phone subscriptions worldwide, making these priceless devices, which we live and breathe by, a necessary part of our daily lives.

In an effort to encourage the rapidly growing number of disrespectful cell phone users to be more respectful and aware of others and of their surroundings, author and etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore, launched National Cell Phone Courtesy Month in July of 2002.

In honor of National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, I have put together a few suggestions on how to avoid a cell phone calamity during your wedding ceremony:

• Print a matching reminder card and attach it to the outside of your ceremony program.
• Post a pretty calligraphy sign on an easel at the church entrance reminding guests to turn off their phones.
• Appoint one of your ushers to make an announcement to the waiting guests: “Guests of the Bride and Groom, the ceremony is about to begin. We ask that you kindly turn off your cell phones at this time.”
• The biggest offenders may be your wedding party and family, who in the hustle and bustle of last minute excitement, will not be reading the sign or the ceremony program. Remind them during your wedding rehearsal to place their phone on “silent” mode or have them check their phones with the wedding planner to avoid a disastrous interruption as you are about to say “I do”.

Photo courtesy of JonJon2k8 & Blakeman Flicker Creative Common License | Stats courtesy of Wikipedia

It is a tribute to you and an honor when guests join in the celebration of your wedding. Their acceptance of your invitation puts them in a very special category of privilege. As with any guest invited to your home, you must treat your wedding guests with the same forethought and graciousness when planning the event. You have extended an invitation; therefore, you should be conscientious of their comfort and enjoyment. It is critical to understand that their experience while attending your wedding will ultimately determine the success of it.

During your wedding planning, imagine how you would feel attending your wedding as your guest.  In other words step in their shoes and imagine yourself in their place and visualize what they might encounter from the moment they arrive for the ceremony. Have all the aspects been arranged with your guests in mind? Will they be able to hear your vows? Were the wedding programs distributed to everyone? Can your guests see from all angles? Can the directions be challenging such that it would be prudent to provide a map with directions? If you overlook even the tiniest minor details, it can leave your guests isolated, confused or possibly worse.

It is also important to be aware of the expenses that attending your wedding will require. In addition to a wedding gift there is the time and money spent traveling, parking fees, possible overnight accommodations, time away from work, possible taking of personal vacation time, appropriate attire, and babysitters.

Moreover, provide your guests with time for personal acknowledgement and attention during your wedding such as greeting and spending at least a few minutes at each table, dance with your guests and engage in conversation with them.  It can be very beneficial to get your family and your bridal party involved to assist you in keeping your guests enjoying your wedding by allowing them to act as your co-hosts by greeting guests, answering questions, dancing with the single ladies and gentlemen and overall just behaving gracious, warm and friendly to each of your guests. 

By considering your honored guests perspective in each of your wedding planning decisions, you are guaranteed to have your fairytale wedding and be in first place with your guests as the ‘ ‘Best Wedding I Ever Attended’.

QUESTION:

Is it proper for the wedding party to respond to a formal wedding invitation when there is no response card?

ANSWER:

It is a very courteous gesture on the part of the couple to include members of their wedding party among their list to receive a formal invitation.  Should you receive a formal wedding invitation, a response card may not be included as you are not expected to formally reply.  Your acceptance to be included as a member of their wedding party is your RSVP.

Custom Designed Wedding Invitation courtesy of Trish R. Caal, Embellishments

Jetting off to an exotic island or to wine country is undoubtedly romantic for the wedding couple, as well as fun and exciting for the attending guests. Destination weddings can understandably get expensive for the wedding guests, and thus, guests need to consider and budget all the expenses involved before accepting their invitation. 

As a guest you are responsible for your own transportation costs, accommodations, appropriate attire and a wedding gift.  Also, keep in mind it is likely that guests will be required to take off additional time from work or school for a destination wedding as opposed to a local wedding. As a result, destination weddings often tend to be less attended and consist mainly of immediate family members and very close friends.

The bridal couple should understand that due to the expense and scheduling, not all their desired guests will be in attendance.  However, through thoughtful planning, consideration and plenty of lead time, they should enable their guests’ adequate time to assess whether or not they can make the commitment.

In light of those wedding guests who attended the destination wedding, the bridal couple may not expect a gift because they understand and appreciate the financial commitment undertaken to attend their nuptials. However, as with any wedding, the choice to accept the invitation is optional and therefore despite the additional costs to the wedding guest, the guest is still responsible for providing the couple with a wedding gift for their destination wedding.

Guests can arrange the gift to be delivered to the couple prior to the wedding as to not complicate travel arrangements or may also consider a beautifully hand written congratulatory card enclosed with a monetary gift or gift card to where the couple is registered.

When invited to a wedding many take their own life situation into consideration when responding to a wedding invitation. You are single and you don’t want to go alone. You have a darling child and are sure that he will be so well-behaved no one will notice he is there.

The way in which an invitation is addressed tells you what the couple had in mind when inviting you. If you were invited with a guest the outside envelope would be addressed to: Mr. John Smith. The inner envelope would be addressed to Mr. John Smith and Guest.

If children are invited, the invitation would be address with “and Family” or listed directly under the adult. Adult children living in the same household should receive their own invitation.

Do not put the couple in an embarrassing situation. Do not ask them if you can bring a date or your children to the wedding. And under no circumstance should you ever add names or additional number of guests to your reply card.

A wedding is planned like clockwork. There is no time to rearrange seating to accommodate any additions. Please be respectful of your invitation. It is an honor to be chosen to share their special day. So please be honorable and respect their wishes.

Invitation box set & reply card courtesy of Embellishments

Source:  Respect The Wording On The Wedding Invitation & Response Card:  Advice provided by Claudia Lutman for Luxurious Wedding Etiquette & Protocol July 2008